Overcome Speaking Anxiety And Reclaim Your Main Character Energy!

Have you ever watched a movie where the main character absolutely owns the room? Maybe they nail a job interview, give a heartfelt toast, or effortlessly jump into a group discussion, commanding attention with ease. Now, imagine if that main character was you!

For many people, speaking anxiety is the invisible force holding them back from fully stepping into their own story. It can creep in during professional meetings, social interactions, and even academic settings, creating a frustrating gap between what they want to say and what actually comes out.

I’m a speech-language pathologist and communication coach specializing in speaking anxiety. This is an area of importance for me, as I overcame debilitating speaking anxiety, myself!

Let’s start by breaking down how communication anxiety manifests in different areas of life, with the potential to hold us back from being the protagonists of our own stories.

A woman in a white blouse smiles and holds a microphone during a presentation.

Professional Settings

You’re in a meeting, and you have an innovative idea that could really contribute to the conversation. But instead of speaking up, you hesitate. Your heart races. You overthink your phrasing. Someone else speaks up first, and you’re left kicking yourself for staying silent. Sound familiar?

Speaking anxiety in professional settings can lead to missed promotions, overlooked contributions, and a lack of confidence that keeps you in the background. The key to shifting this dynamic is practicing small moments of courage. Perhaps you could volunteer to share an update or ask a clarifying question. Speaking anxiety is often best addressed by a cumulative set of positive experiences, almost like “exposure therapy.” Each small step builds confidence until speaking up feels natural rather than terrifying. Eventually, the goal is for these opportunities to feel feel enjoyable, and that takes time.

Pro Tips:

• Prepare for meetings by jotting down key points you want to contribute in advance.

• Use structured frameworks like "I agree with [point], and I'd like to add..." to ease into discussions.

• Practice expansiveness with power poses (Yes, there’s some controversy with this tip, but my clients often use this as a way to get comfortable with taking up space) or deep breathing before speaking to reduce anxiety.

• Set a small goal, like speaking once in each meeting, to build momentum.

Personal Life

Social gatherings, dates, and even casual conversations with close friends can feel like high-stakes performances for someone with speaking anxiety. You might struggle to tell a funny story, express your opinions, or even introduce yourself without second-guessing every word. The unfortunate result of these scenarios is that others might perceive you as distant or uninterested when, in reality, you have a lot to say.

Building main character energy in personal settings starts with self-compassion. Challenge yourself to take up space! Share a thought without overanalyzing it, laugh at your own jokes, and remind yourself that your presence is valuable. The more you own your voice and authenticity, the more comfortable and charismatic you’ll become.

ProTips:

• Practice getting comfortable with small talk: Comment on your surroundings or ask about the other person’s interests.

• Use the yes, and technique from improv to keep conversations flowing.

• Practice storytelling by rehearsing funny or interesting anecdotes in advance.

• Set a goal to initiate at least one conversation at social events.

A man in a blue blazer holds a document while giving a presentation.

Academic Environments

For students of any age, speaking anxiety can be a major roadblock to success. Whether it’s answering a question in class, giving a presentation, or participating in a discussion, the fear of sounding “wrong” or awkward can be paralyzing. But staying silent often reinforces the fear, making future participation even harder.

A mindset shift can work wonders here. Instead of aiming for perfect responses, aim for engagement. Teachers and professors don’t expect flawless answers; they just want to see that you’re involved. Start by asking a question rather than answering one. With time, you’ll notice that all that attention you thought would be on you was, in fact, not as big of a deal as you thought. Gradually build toward speaking more freely, and soon enough, you’ll feel like an active player rather than a background character in your academic journey.

Pro Tips:

• Write down potential questions and/or responses before class to boost confidence.

• Raise your hand early in discussions to get it out of the way before anxiety builds.

• Practice with a friend or record yourself to desensitize to hearing your own voice.

• Use techniques like speaking slowly and pausing to gather your thoughts rather than rushing.

Reclaiming Your Narrative

Speaking anxiety doesn’t have to define you. You do not have to be born with a natural, confident speaking personal to be a sucessful communicator! With intentional practice, mindset shifts, and small, meaningful steps, you can rewrite your story. The world isn’t looking for perfection; it’s looking for authenticity. And when you embrace your voice, you step fully into your own main character energy.

So, next time you feel the nerves creeping in, ask yourself: What would the main character do? Then, take a deep breath… and do exactly that.

💡 Want to learn more about our communication and/or executive function coaching programs? Contact us here!

Woman in a yellow sweater smiling holding a speech bubble that says: “Carefree Speech: Speech Therapy + Coaching for Adults and Teens”